— Hey.
— Hey.
— Where’s Mon?
— She’s at home…
…putting up decorations
for Rachel’s birthday party tonight.
— And you’re not helping?
— I tried…
…but apparently singing «I Will Survive»
in a helium voice, not helping.
— Hey, you guys.
Hey.
Happy birth…
Shh. Don’t say that loud.
Gunther’s gonna want to hug me.
Uh, good news, everyone.
We finally found a nanny.
— This is Molly. Molly, Chandler, Joey.
— Hi.
Ooh, somebody’s getting a little fussy.
You’re damn right I am. I’ve been
waiting for a cookie for seven minutes.
Okay. You know what,
I’m just gonna take her outside.
— No, you stay. I’ll do it.
Okay. Thank you.
— Nice to meet you guys.
Yeah, you too.
— Wow, Molly’s just great.
— Yeah.
Yes, bravo on the hot nanny.
— What? You really think she’s hot?
— Are you kidding?
If I wasn’t married,
she’d be rejecting me right now.
Joey?
How do you think she’s doing?
Am I the only one that doesn’t think
she’s hot? Ross?
— Ah, I mean, she’s not unattractive, but…
— Right.
…but hot? Ah…
Thank you. Ha, ha.
Now that Rachel’s gone?
So hot,
I cried myself to sleep last night.
Hey, Mike, what’s the capital of Peru?
— Lima.
— No.
It starts with a V and ends with an X.
And hopefully with a T-O
in the middle.
You know, come to think of it,
the capital of Peru is «Vtox.»
— Oh, God!
— What?
Okay. I don’t want to freak you out
or anything…
…but I just saw a rat in your cupboard.
Oh, yeah. No, that’s Bob.
Well, he’s your pet rat?
Well, not so much a pet as,
you know, an occasional visitor…
…who I put food out for.
You know, kind of like Santa.
Except Santa doesn’t poop
on the plate of cookies.
You can’t keep a rat in your apartment.
They’re extremely unsanitary.
I mean, they transmit leptospirosis
and hantavirus.
— What are those?
— I don’t know…
…but they don’t sound
like spa treatments.
— You have to get rid of it.
— Okay, fine.
If it means that much to you,
I’ll get rid of Bob.
Thank you.
It’s so weird you think he’s so gross,
yet you’re willing to eat his crackers.
— Hello.
— Hello.
Gavin, I just want to say
thank you again…
…for watching Emma yesterday
during the presentation.
I really owe you an apology.
— For what?
— When we first met, you know…
…I thought you were pompous
and arrogant and obnoxious.
Is this your first apology?
No, I just mean, you know,
first impressions don’t mean anything.
And I think you’re a really good guy.
And I’m sorry that I misjudged you.
— Morning.
— Hello.
But you know what?
Hey, new day, new leaf.
I am just really, really happy…
I’m sorry. Obviously, Heather’s ass
has something more important to say…
…so I’ll just wait till it’s finished.
— What?
— I was giving you an apology…
…and you were totally checking her out.
I wasn’t checking her out. I’m in fashion.
I was looking at her skirt.
Or was it pants? I didn’t really see
what happened below the ass area.
Wow, you are really…
You’re really a creep.
What do you even care
if I was looking at her?
Are you jealous?
Oh, yeah. I’m jealous.
«Oh, Gavin. Please,
please look at my ass.»
Stop looking at my ass.
I mean, I just think
you are totally inappropriate. Okay?
This is a work environment.
She’s your subordinate.
But it was okay when you
slept with your old assistant, Tag?
That is totally different for two reasons.
One, I didn’t know that you knew that.
And two, I wasn’t some creep
staring at his ass.
We had a… We had a deep,
meaningful relationship.
Huh. What was Tag’s last name?
It was…
Oh, my God.
He didn’t have a last name.
It was just Tag, you know,
like Cher or…
…you know, Moses.
But it was a deep,
meaningful relationship.
You know what? My first impression
of you was absolutely right.
You are arrogant. You are pompous.
Morgan! Morgan!
— Tag’s last name was Morgan! Ha!
— It was Jones.
What are you, his boyfriend?
— Man, I wish I had a nanny like you.
— You mean when you were a baby?
_____-
Sure.
Would you stop staring at her?
I wasn’t staring.
I was leering.
What’s the big deal with her?
Maybe she’s attractive
in an obvious kind of way.
Yeah, obvious beauty’s the worst.
You know, when it’s right there
in your face.
Me, I like to have to work
to find someone attractive.
Makes me feel like I earned it.
Looks like Joey’s doing all right
with her.
Yeah. Hey, that was nice of you guys
to back off…
…and let Joey get the girl for once.
— I’m gonna take her to the apartment.
— Okay, I’ll be home right after work.
— Okay.
— Okay, bye, Emma-wemma-demma.
I lovey-wovey-dove you.
Bye.
Bye.
They’ve elected me to talk to you
about the baby talk.
It’s not so good.
I think it’s sweet.
ROSS & CHANDLER & JOEY:
Bye, Emma-wemma!
Hey, listen, Joey. About Molly, I would
really prefer if you didn’t go after her.
Why not?
Because it took months
to find a good nanny.
And I wouldn’t want anything to,
you know, drive her away.